Mayonnaise? Mustard? Lettuce? Tomato?

I don't know which sandwich condiment I am yet, but I know that I am firmly in the sandwich generation.

Over the last year or so, I have been juggling taking care of Jackie and taking care of my Mom. That is, of course, when they weren't taking care of me.

I think the act of my Mom living with us for about 3 months (Dec 2023- Feb 2024) and having to endure seeing me unconscious on a ventilator in the ICU, was her brain's final big act. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in May and will be moving in with us in about a month. My Mom is the greatest mother in the world, her deep care and love for everyone who has entered her life is unmatched. I feel like the very least I can do is care for her in the way she cared for me and so many others in her life.

Jackie is supportive of having Mama (as she calls her) move in with us so we can give her a little extra care. We've had to move Jackie's toys out of the room that will become Mom's. We made the plan to shift the toys to the basement because we don't want Jackie to think she had to give away a bunch of her toys because Grandma moved in.

I am still working through what the future holds for the four of us, but I know this will give us all more precious time together. I am also hopeful that the additional stimulation will be good for Mom.

I have also been reminding myself that I need to put on my own oxygen mask before helping others. So I work to schedule my doctor's appointments in and around Mom and Jackie's appointments.

I recently needed 2 biopsies on my right breast. The nurse rubbed my back during the worst parts of the mammogram assisted biopsy. It was such a compassionate/empathetic gesture that I teared up a bit. It was exactly what I needed in that moment, without realizing I needed it. I thanked her for the kind gesture and admitted it had been a while since someone rubbed my back. I rub Jackie's back in times of need, I hope it brings her as much comfort as it brought me. [Update: I am lucky to report that both biopsies were benign.]

All of this has me thinking, we all carry a lot of invisible baggage with us. What if we were all more compassionate/empathetic to each other? Think of the changes that would happen in this world, if we took the time to consider what a person may need in a moment of vulnerability and actually give it to them.