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Suzanne (with an excited look on her face) in front of Suzanne Street in South Carolina A few months ago, after Mom moved in, I coordinated with my incredible Aunt so James and I could have a weekend away for the first time in 6 years! I was conscious of the concept that I should put my oxygen mask on first before helping others. I felt like it was good to have a getaway on the horizon and I requested that the focus of the weekend be that I didn’t have to take care of anythin

I took this picture of a bald eagle about to fledge from the nest in our yard in Maryland in May 2023. Like all of us, it had some living left to do. I went through a season of life where several friends lost their spouse unexpectedly. During this time, I mentally prepared myself in case James was to ever predecease me. I also made sure we had the appropriate estate documents witnessed and executed. When I woke up in December 2023 it shocked me that through that period and th

We have all heard this phrase: If you’re going through hell, keep going. The phrase is often attributed to Winston Churchill. James, Jackie, and I have all come to the realization over the last week that Mom living with us is getting easier. The exit from the honeymoon period/excitement of Grandma moving in was rough. I felt a bit overwhelmed by our new reality. Jackie felt like she wasn’t as excited when we went to Maryland because Mom was no longer there to visit. Additiona

We had a lovely holiday season and a very happy new year! I hope you did as well! We were able to fill it with lots of quality time with loved ones and zip lining! We continue to focus on experiences and time over material things, so Jackie’s big gift this year was a tree house and zip line built lovingly by James over the week after Christmas and before New Year’s! We had so many folks help build over the week, but James was the one constant. Not only is the tree house beaut

Somehow the holidays are upon us, and a new calendar year is just 12 days away! I don’t know about you, but the news has felt heavy this week. I considered not writing something due to all the pain that people are likely processing. I hope each of us and the world can find some measure of peace in the coming weeks. Give yourselves time to pause and breath and be thankful for what we do have and the people that surround us. I rarely take time to pause and reflect on my accompl

So, I realized this week that I haven’t written a post about our incredible dog, Sammy- don’t worry she didn’t die. I also thought as we enter mid-December chaos that everyone could use a good puppy picture! In November 2014, we had just gotten home from our honeymoon when we decided to go ‘look’ at a few dogs at St. Hubert’s. I insisted that if we didn’t find the right dog for us, then we would head home. James was convinced that we were not going to leave St. Hubert’s witho

A selfie of Suzanne in front of The Bar Method studio after her class! 2 years ago, today I had the worst headache of my life, a cavernous malformation bled in my brain, and I experienced a series of seizures rendering me unresponsive. Upon arrival at the Morristown Trauma center, I was hypoxic. I would spend the next 2 days unconscious and ventilated in the ICU. I do not remember most of that week, or even parts of the weeks leading up to the stroke. I slept through or don’t

I hope all my US-based readers had a Happy Thanksgiving! I could not carve out time last week to post a blog entry, and I decided to give myself grace and allow that to be ok. I realize that not everyone had the opportunity to go home to a place that is comforting for them for the Thanksgiving holiday, I consider myself very lucky to have solace in a place like the Eastern Shore of Maryland. Have you ever felt like a place completed you as a person? The Eastern Shore of Maryl

After I first had my stroke and came home from the hospital, my initial instinct was not to tell people. I didn’t want people to think if I misspoke that it was because of my stroke. I also wasn’t quite sure I had all the information about what happened to properly tell people. Towards the end of December 2023, I realized we needed recommendations for neurologists and neurosurgeons and it was time to tell people and see if they could give us references. Our friends and family

What is Faux Thanksgiving you may be asking yourself? For our combined family, it is a made-up holiday dating back to 2009. In 2009, James and I started dating earlier that year. We decided to ask our families how important it was to celebrate Thanksgiving on the actual day, thankfully both our families responded that it wasn’t that important. So, we moved Thanksgiving up a week or two (depending on the year), we also always seem to have a slightly different guest list than t

Suzanne's imperfect world map shower curtain Life, yourself, your spouse, your child is perfectly imperfect. Why do we expect everyone, including ourselves, to be perfect when the journey of life is imperfect? This was my deep thinking as I tried to shove our comforter into the comforter cover, I had washed on Monday. I hate washing the comforter cover because it’s such a pain to put it back on. Somehow once it’s washed the comforter also seems to no longer fit inside it, the

Since 2015, James and I have moved my Mom 4 times around 3 different states. In all those moves I never reviewed everything she packed along the way. I focused on cleaning out one place and getting her settled as much as possible into the new place. This past weekend the move was different. I ended up taking a few hours to really review what was being packed and ensure everything received the proper care it needed. Since my Mom's Alzheimer's diagnosis in May we have been maki

Yesterday I was playing with Jackie in her room when I heard a light knock on the front door. Thankfully our house happens to be across the street from a park and so Jackie has friends from the bus, school, or around the neighborhood that will knock on our door for her to come out to play. I absolutely love this! It is one of the few life experiences that overlaps from my childhood to Jackie’s. I grew up in a small town on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. You were typically 1 d

I started writing this post last night in my paper notebook, as I do with all my first drafts. The draft started as a post about being average (at basically all things in life) and then I had a realization that perhaps I am not average but see  myself as average. This led me back to a recent conversation I had with my therapist about not filling my seat at the table and not realizing my significant impact in different settings. So here is the perception or illusion I have abo

Over the summer, James, Jackie, Mom, and I went to France! We got to spend the first few days with our family near Lyon. We hadn't seen them since before COVID and we were long overdue for a visit since several of us had some challenging health issues in the past few years. We laughed, ate delicious food, drank delicious wine, and loved! For the second half of our trip, we drove down to Mandelieu-la-Napole for a beach vacation. We stayed in an apartment overlooking the Medite

My Mom rode horses near Washington, D.C. as a child. So, when April and I were kids, she suggested we try horseback riding. From the ages of 6 to 12, I rode ponies at Miles River Pony Farm. It taught me a lot about love, responsibility, respect, discipline, and the overall joy of being able to go to a pony farm once a week. For the uninitiated a horse or pony farm typically has a dirt road leading up to a large barn. There is usually some type of fenced arena or ring close by

I don't know which sandwich condiment I am yet, but I know that I am firmly in the sandwich generation. Over the last year or so, I have been juggling taking care of Jackie and taking care of my Mom. That is, of course, when they weren't taking care of me. I think the act of my Mom living with us for about 3 months (Dec 2023- Feb 2024) and having to endure seeing me unconscious on a ventilator in the ICU, was her brain's final big act. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in Ma

Spoiler alert: cats do not have 9 lives. I grew up with pets, but my parents typically took them 'over the rainbow bridge' at the vet without my sister and I. Thank you Mom and Dad for saving me from that trauma. On March 22, 2024 (after my stroke and brain surgery), my ride or die cat, Pepper, died after a 1 day decline from a series of blood clots. While they were checking him out at the ER vet, he had a blood clot in his brain (confirmed by the feline neurologist, even Pep

I realize it can be hard to visualize what changes you could make to live a healthier (mentally and physically) life. Before December 2023, I often rejected any suggested activity that would occur during the work week and then I was defensive over my weekends. Additionally, as a working Mom I felt guilty about doing something on the weekend that would pull me away from time with Jackie because I had so little time with her during the week. Since December 2023, I have learned

It was my birthday this week so I thought it would be fun to reflect on the journey. I graduated high school 24 years ago this past May. This is my senior 'casual' picture. As you can see, I didn't wear glasses yet because my eyes didn't spend 8 hours a day staring at a computer screen. Apparently, I was voted Most Outgoing. Some of my likes- ketchup with french fries and spending time with my friends- are still accurate. Some of my dislikes- people who don't use turn signals