Parasailing

Over the summer, James, Jackie, Mom, and I went to France! We got to spend the first few days with our family near Lyon. We hadn't seen them since before COVID and we were long overdue for a visit since several of us had some challenging health issues in the past few years. We laughed, ate delicious food, drank delicious wine, and loved!

For the second half of our trip, we drove down to Mandelieu-la-Napole for a beach vacation. We stayed in an apartment overlooking the Mediterranean! We got to go to the beach each day and play with Jackie! James had been parasailing before and thought Jackie would really love it. So, they made a plan to go during one of our beach days. Jackie got pretty quiet before she went, which is usually a sign she is nervous. She loved parasailing! She admitted later that she was nervous about going but decided to go anyway. James and Jackie loved it so much that they went again the next day. (Since my stroke, we are more willing to splurge on life experiences.) Jackie loved it even more the second day. James and Jackie both talked about how peaceful and quiet it was once you got up there. They also enjoyed the boat ride, seeing the coastline around Nice.

In August we made plans to go to Ocean City, MD and go parasailing all together- the 3 of us. I had never parasailed. Like Jackie, I was also nervous. Jackie noted that the boat was not as nice as the one she had taken in the Mediterranean. The captain and crew were very nice and seemed knowledgeable. I tried my best to be carefree as our boat went quite fast over various waves. It was decided we would go last, which surprisingly did not make me more nervous.

There is scientific research that your brain distorts your memories- making some memories more positive or more negative than they really were. I didn't consider that parasailing would be similar to any of my prior lived experiences. I put on the harness and life jacket. I held on to a railing on the back of the boat while they strapped my harness to the parachute. It was at that moment that I thought "what am I doing?" Then they announced that we were ready to go, so I had to let go of the railing. We quickly sailed up over 800 feet! As we floated over the Atlantic Ocean, I had a death grip on my life jacket. I started breathing exercises in order to remain calm over the 12 minutes we would be in the air. I remembered how much I dislike heights when not standing in or on a building. I remembered all the high ropes courses I did in college, that I disliked. I imagine they don't do team building exercises anymore that force coworkers to show one another the sheer terror of walking on a rope ladder amongst the treetops.

Jackie, the now experienced parasailor, was swinging in her harness, arms resting comfortably in her lap, smiling for pictures with James. I calmly asked her to swing more slowly because she was also swinging me. Jackie suggested I let go of my life jacket and rest my hands on my lap. I declined, letting her know that it was giving me comfort floating in the air.

It was quite beautiful up there. James and Jackie were right that it was quiet and peaceful. It will be a family outing we will never forget! I got to show Jackie how her Mom fought her worries to go parasailing. Once we got back to the boat, I calmly mentioned to James that I was surprised how high we were and he said, "I paid the extra $20 to go as high as possible!" Thankfully, Jackie has recounted to folks the enjoyment of the day and doesn't realize the fear I grappled with. One day I will share this with her, but for now I'd prefer to be seen as the adventurous Mom who went parasailing. I so often feel like the boring, uncool Mom in my cardigan and minivan.

What have you fought your fears to accomplish? Did it bring you pride?